When you are pitching for a startup, you are one among hundreds. Your pitch should captivate from sentence no.1.
You should also include a number which shows the magnitude of your problem statement. And how your solution will help this number.
If I am a VC and I read a pitch which is ambling about social issues and problems, I tend to lose focus. And with social media these days, all of us have the focus time of a butterfly. 7 to 10 seconds at most.
Let me show an example here:
*“What if a single, low cost solution could save the lives of 3 million breast cancer patients every year? Our mobile app based screening solution scans potential patients in 60 seconds flat; and we already have 3 hospitals’ commitment to use it” *
**
If the above ststement cannot catch a VC’s eye, nothing would.
So, once again
1. Captivate the reader from the first sentence
2. Provide a number
3. Provide a possibility
4. Tickle their imagination
5. Do this all in 7 seconds
I hope this has helped you